What a week, and it was only Monday

If there was a real genius out there, they would find a way to create a "pause" button for life. A time to destress yourself for a second when you need to the most. I refuse to take a pill so I can better cope with the person that has obvious mental limitations that keep them from acting like a mature adult with daily adult responsibilities. They should be taking a pill for their chemical imbalances. Not me. I'm not shaving mental years off my brain for you.
So that is how my week has started. Labor Day of all days. To be fair, it started with Maya coming down with a very high temp. on Sunday night. By Monday she was not better and not eating. I had just taken her to the doctor the week before for urinary pain. Found out she has labial adhesions. On the same day Jeremy went to the doctor for an MRSA infection. Friday I had to drive him back to the doctor because it has gotten so bad (blood poisoning) that he could barely walk. The week before that, I had taken Maya to the doctor for MRSA, which Jeremy evidently picked up. I don't even want to know the amount of money we spent the last 3 weeks in co-pays and prescriptions. Not to mention loss of work for Jeremy. He was out Wed. through today, which is the Tues. after Labor Day. Lots of lost income. And since I had to take them to the doctors, lost of make up time for me. Actually I had so much make up time I opted to use a vacation day. Speaking of work, the partners are finally listening to me when I tell them I'm in the weeds with my workload. I'm now the bad guy because I can't seem to handle my load. Well, we ran the numbers and I'm literally double the load of the other girls. It's time to make this fair. I'm working too hard and not getting compensated for it.

So anyways I'm tempted to post Jeremy's leg photo, but he'll kill me. Plus it's not pretty. It's much better now, after 2 visits, 2 shots, and 3 prescriptions. He could have lost his leg. Probably would have if he had waited one more day.
So back to Monday. I had to take off work, as if I needed to get even more behind on my work. Maya did start feeling better with a temp of 99 around noon. I let her watch a DVD on my computer and she got one stuck. Took me about an hour just to gain access to the DVD player and once I pryed that open, realized I didn't have the proper tool to get to the DVD itself. I could scream right now.
Mentally I'm not doing well due to my bad Monday and from the stress of the weeks prior. Sunday we looked at 3 properties in Atoka. Crapholes. Waste of time. And I almost got us killed while trying to pass someone on a 2-lane road because someone in particular sitting the passenger seat was being a high-school bully and wouldn't shut the hell up and just be a passenger. It's fun spending lots of time with people that know everything.

Anyways, I've omitted lots of details in the middle, but it's really not worth mentioning unless I feel like I want to re-live those moments again, which I don't. This post is really not going to make much sense to anyone but me and that's ok. I feel like crying but I'm not going to. I'll blog instead and hope that it helps in a small way.

Part TWO

We drove home.
Ok so I forgot to post part two in a timely manner and now I don't feel like trying to remember what else we did, much less the order.

I'm SO moving to Nashville...Part ONE

Finally. The long awaited day has come....(and gone). They said it would never happen and we proved them wrong. Ladies and gentlemen, Jeremy and Jennifer drove to Nashville and made it back safely without searching for divorce attorneys in the Nashville yellow pages. Everyone knows that Jeremy does not travel well. Ok I should rephrase. Jeremy travels well when he's got both eyes closed, mouth wide open with drool spilling out of the edge of his mouth. While driving. No, of course he's not driving. I'm driving. Because Jeremy gets tired. Jennifer has driving stamina. I'm limitless in my long-haul driving abilities. It's a talent I possess.

Anyways, we reach our destination, the Opryland Hotel, and it's like a really really nice airport or something. It's that huge. They give you a map and if you're not good at completing a maze on paper, you are in trouble because you better at least have some sense of direction. Of course I never got lost not once because I'm awesome. Jeremy on the other hand...need I say more?

So we have this really good luck going for us as we usually do and that weekend somebody was evidently giving away free Mini-Marts or maybe chain hotels because the place was swarming with middle-eastern people. Or Mohammeds as I call them. Because they all have that name. Am I wrong? Ok so not all of them. Some have it as their middle name. I stand corrected. I'm not bashing them, I'm stating a fact. Another fact I'll bet you didn't know. Mohammeds love curry. Yes, you knew that already didn't you. Does a bear shit in the woods?

So getting back to our Nashville trip, I personally loved the hotel because I love amenities. The room itself does not have to be large. I like to be able to walk out of the room and check out all the cool stuff going on, shop the hotel stores, and so on and so forth. I regret not having time to let the kids swim at the hotel pool, but I did take them there. We just watched other people swim. So, technically, I took the kids to the pool. I have pictures to prove it.

So day 1 of our BVEBJAJGA "Best Vacation Ever Because Jeremy And Jennifer Got Along" we decided to try the Adventure Science Museum. It's really educational if you actually read all the crap they write all over the walls and demonstrations. But who wants to do that? It's much more fun to skip over the boring stuff and get right down to the hands-on fun. Here's what I really learned from the whole day there: NEXT TIME TAKE HAND SANITIZER.

Day 2 of BVEBJAJGA was the Nashville Zoo. Now correct me if I'm wrong here, but aren't zoos supposed to have some animals, such as...I don't know...like lions, tigers and bears? Am I that big of a Memphis Zoo Brat that I can't appreciate the vast array of BIRDS the Nashville Zoo supplies to it's visitors for their viewing enjoyment? Listen up bird lovers across the country. You're gonna love Nashville's Zoo! You can even walk in the Bird Emporium or whatever they call it, hand-feed the stinky bastards, and get pooped on! Yey!

I was so excited about the red panda exhibit because it wasn't a bird. There was a man petting this big furry thing on his arm ever go gently and bending over so that little kids can share in the enjoyment...I was practically rubbing my hands with glee and making my way through the crowd when I realized he's just giving a damn red panda pelt a rub-down. "Wanna feel what a red panda feels like". A dead one? No thanks asshole. He's all yours.

Man, My Kids Are Cute

Hollywood Here They Come

A night at the Incredible Pizza was more fun than I had expected. Evidently both of my kids are destined to be entertainers. Maya was bouncin' to "Barbie Girl" while Zach was rockin' out on Guitar Hero. He's really good. I wish I could have captured better video and a better song. He really does amaze me, it's like he's really playing a guitar. And he doesn't miss a beat. I just keep wondering if guitarists get carpel tunnel?

My New Fave Steak Recipe

I have a new way of prepping steaks for grillin'. And you don't even have to clean up the grill afterwards! Ok you probably should, but I'm just sayin'...it's really mess free. Here is all that's required in order to make the magic happen:

Steak of your choice, at least 1" think

Sea Salt

That's it!!!!! Amazing right? I love a hassle-free dinner. I was actually kinda apprehensive at first about dumping all that salt on the meat. However I read some reviews and decided to go for it. We haven't prepared our steaks any other way since! Check out the whole logistics here, which is done in a very humorous and amusing way I couldn't help but laugh out loud.

Try it. I double-dog dare you.

The Sin of My Ants

My bathroom has an ant problem again. These ants, which I believe are called "Pharoah Ants" are so annoying. They just won't die. We laid out some Terro, which is that poisonous syrupy crap they're suppose to eat, and share with their ant families, friends and neighbors. Well I have yet to see a trail of ants leaving the Terro. They're just camped in there and it looks like some have even drowned it in. I think I can even see them doing cannon balls and floating in little tubes. They're probably just drunk. It's pure gluttony and it's sick. I'm not here to provide for them. It's time they start doing their ant duty and take that crap back home where the real work begins. Ant Genocide. And don't forget the Queen.